it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
