Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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