when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
