I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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