I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
