She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
