Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
