He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
