Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
