I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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