I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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