i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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