I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
