capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
