Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
