if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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