She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
