Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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