If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
