He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
