ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
