i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
