Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Randomize
