well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize