dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
two words: eviction party
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Drunk is not a location!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
