So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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