After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
