The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
