Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
