I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
