She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
