Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
