I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
