you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
