I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
