check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
