there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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