At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm like, not good at living.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
