I'm lost and stupid without you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
