I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
