i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
