There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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