I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
