Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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