i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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