It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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