So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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