So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize