if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
