Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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