The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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