Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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