The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize
