I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
