maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
