ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
