are you so shy because you have an std?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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