Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
