Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
