She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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