Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
